Photo: This Is A Pretty Javanese Pencak Silat Lady. Indeed. But Gentlemen.., Don't You Dare To Break Her Heart. Because If You Do, She Will Break Your Neck Or Break Your Hand Or Break Your Leg Or Break Your Nose Or Break Your Hairs. You Name It. And...The Scariest Part Is She Definitely Can Break Your "Dotdotdot" Too By Using Her "Jurus Pangeran Majapahit" Or Her Bare Hands In Just 3 Seconds! 1..2..3...It's Broken! Oh Mamma Mia!
Today I will write about Malaysian Islamic Development Department's (Jakim) directive on Valentine's Day, about the so-called "khalwat" via internet" and about Dato' Siti Bahyah's comments in YouTube linking Christianity with vices in a sermon about Valentine’s Day
I'M NOW SETTING-UP MY BRANCH IN JAKARTA. I USED TO WORK IN JAKARTA IN 1998
By the way, I was already in Jakarta since 10 August 2010. Jakarta is not a new city for me because way back in 1998 I had the experience of working and living in Jakarta together with my wife and my children before we "ran away" from Jakarta due to chaotic conditions after President Suharto resigned. That was 12 years ago.
But my mission this time is to set-up my own Indonesian incorporated company which runs my branch here in Jakarta.
MY CONSULTANCY SERVICES
My company is providing the following consultancy services:
- Consultancy on "Doing Business in Jakarta"
MY "BONUS" SERVICE. FOR MEN ONLY!!
And....here comes the most exciting part. For a Malaysian Muslim man who appoints my company as their A to Z consultant for all matters concerning their Jakarta branch office set-up, I would be glad to offer them my "bonus" services, free of charge, which is to find for them a beautiful, religious, super soft-spoken Javanese or Sunda lady from Pesantren religious schools in Bogor or Sukabumi to be their wife with the following condition: That Malaysian Muslim man is still single!
If that man is only "single-at-heart" or "single-in-his-wild-imagination' but in reality he is already married in Malaysia, then he must really need to convince me that he has got at least an "implied" permission from his Malaysian wife to have a second Jakarta wife.
And one more thing...that Malaysian man should not be too ugly in order not to give other Malaysian men "bad name" among Jakarta ladies. He may not need to be as handsome as me but at least he must be deemed as "reasonably handsome" to maintain the good image of Malaysian men among Jakarta ladies.-)
JAKARTA HUGE MARKET
Jakarta is a huge market with its 240 million Indonesian population. And out of that 240 millions, there are 24.9 million Middle Class and Upper Class Group in Indonesia (Ref: "Litbang Kompas Report" 2009).
Therefore, I have set-up an Indonesian company, "PT Pro-Versatile BTL" just to handle the marketing and operations for Indonesia huge market.
Alhamdulillah, in October 2010 officially my Indonesian subsidiary company by the name of "PT Pro-Versatile BTL" was successfully incorporated with the Indonesian Ministry of Justice (SK Kehakiman) and the Investment Coordinating Board (BPKM). Currently my Jakarta branch office is located at Sampoerna Strategic Square, Jalan Jenderal Sudirman.
My Jakarta branch office address is:
PT Pro-Versatile BTL
Sampoerna Strategic Square
South Tower 18th Floor
Jalan Jenderal Sudirman Kav 45-46
Tel: +6221 5750923
Fax: +6221 5750803
TEDIOUS PROCESS OF SETTING-UP AN INDONESIAN COMPANY
These are altogether at least eight tasks that need to be fulfilled before I manage to have my Indonesian incorporated company in Jakarta:
(1) Akta Pendirian Perusahaan (Article of Association of the Company)
(2) BPKM (Investment Coordinating Board's Approval for foreign-owned company)
(3) SK Kehakiman (Approval From Ministry of Justice)
(4) NPWP (Registration With Tax Department)
(5) TDP (Company Registration Certificate)
(6) BNRI (Berita Negara R.I Notice Announcement)
(7) Domisili (Compulsory Permission From Pak Lurah)
(8) KITAS Visa (Permission To Live & Do Business In Indonesia)Alhamdulillah, without any hassle the Indonesian Immigration has also approved my KITAS application which is a Visa that allows me to set-up my business and live in Jakarta legally.
What a tedious process and bureaucracy to set-up a company in Jakarta! But I still love Jakarta with all my heart. For me, Jakarta is a paradise-on-earth. No doubt about that. The people here is definitely very much more polite and very much more soft-spoken as compared to citizens of other parts of Planet Earth, the food is very delicious and the countryside panoramic and beautiful view makes my heart cries and my mind blows...
MY NEXT WEEK BLOG-POSTING WILL BE MORE ABOUT JAKARTA VENTURES
My blog-writing for next week will be regarding my exciting personal experience living and doing consultancy business in Jakarta. So I will keep my Jakarta venture collection of stories and photos for my next blog posting. As for today, please me to comment on 3 issues here:
MY COMMENT ON JAKIM'S REMARKS IN THE STAR, 12 FEBRUARY 2011: "VALENTINE'S DAY SYNONYMOUS WITH VICE, JAKIM TELLS MUSLIMS"
If you read The Star, a Malaysian newspaper yesterday, 12 February 2011, under the topical heading "Valentine's Day Synonymous With Vice, Jakim Tells Muslims", the Malaysian Islamic Development Department (Jakim) director-general Datuk Wan Mohamad Sheikh Abdul Aziz was quoted as saying that Valentine's Day is associated with Christianity and vice activities.
Well...I do not want to get involved in a debate whether Valentine's Day celebration is associated with Christianity or not. To my understanding, the Council of Churches of Malaysia general secretary Reverend Dr Herman Shastri has issued a statement that “Valentine's Day is a secular observance that is not celebrated religiously by churches in Malaysia or worldwide”. To know more about the history of Valentine's Day you can get the complete information at Wikipedia.
The following are my comments about Valentine's Day:
Hmmm...talking about Valentine's Day, for how many years whenever approaching 14th February, I always sent SMS to many of my Muslim friends that if celebrating Valentine would be such a never-ending big issue, why not we as a Muslim community in Malaysia create our very own one annual special day to display our affection or extraordinary pure love towards our wife, fiancee or whoever that we love passionately.
And for many times I suggested to them for the Malay Muslim why not we create our own so-called "Kassim Selamat Day", as an alternative to "Valentine's Day". Note: Kassim Selamat is character played by P.Ramlee in "Ibu Mertuaku" a 1962 film
Well...Kassim Selamat's display of pure love towards his wife, Sabariah is legendary. There is no way Valentine will ever dare to poke or dig-out his own eyes (with abnormal sized wooden fork and spoon without the help of an eye surgeon and without anesthetic) like what my Kassim Selamat did 49 years ago!
All in the name of his pure love towards Sabariah. Ralph Waldo Emerson used to say: "Let not a man guard his dignity, but let his dignity guard him". That was exactly the reason as to why Kassim Selamat did that mind boggling dare-devil stunt. Mind you...what Kassim did was not a suicide attempt which is sinful. He simply wanted to return to his "status quo" as a blind man. It is more honourable than seeing his beloved Sabariah cuddled by notorious Dr Ismadi.
Silly? Maybe. But were you born yesterday? Don't you ever know that love between a non-mentally retarded man and a non-mentally retarded woman often filled of "mad" things. Indeed.
Oh I hate Dr Ismadi, the opportunist eye-surgeon and also Nyonya Mansoor, the mother-'outlaw' of Kassim Selamat. Both of them were so 'zalim' and have never appreciated Kassim Selamat's pure love towards sweet Sabariah.
And yes you are right....tomorrow, 14th February when I wake up I will say to my wife with a lot of passion in my sweet romantic voice: "HAPPY KASSIM SELAMAT DAY to you, my dear wife!" Sound weird? You bet. But at least I am not uttering the word "Valentine". And shall we say this Kassim Selamat (the blind man "not-by default") can certainly say with authority that "Love is Blind"!
My same comment can also be read under "Comments" in Malaysia Today.
In a television programme aired on TV9 (actually more than than a year ago but the brouhaha only started very recently) she was claimed to link Christianity with vices in a sermon about Valentine’s Day. To be exact, she said “vices, going to discos and to be in remote place with a partner as Christian tradition.”
You can listen to the recording of her comment in YouTube is viewed by close to 100,000 visitors. And the displeasure on her remarks has been voiced out by many Christian groups in Malaysia as stated in Malaysian Insider.
In an attempt to discourage Muslims from celebrating Valentine’s Day on February 14, Dato' Siti Nor Bahyah also presented several versions of the origin of the celebration and declared the day as a Christian festival.
The following are my comments about Dato' Siti Bahyah's remarks:
I am a "full-time" practicing Muslim and I love my religion very dearly but I can't stop whispering to my heart how wrong this Dato' Siti Nor Bahyah is. (Thank God it is not my favourite Dato' Siti Nurhaliza). Look...just because some Westerner practices pre-marital sexual relationship, "clubbing" and any other hedonistic way of life this does not simply means that Christianity as a religion teaches its followers that kind of way of life. In fact far from the truth. Far, far as far as Greek in Europe from Grik in Perak.
The same way many idiots who claim they are Muslim, yet they practice terrorism, or incite violence against their own wife, or have very rude manners, or break promises, or bomb other Muslim's mosque who is of different school of thought (like in Pakistan). Not to mention those jokers who claim they are leaders of Muslim countries, yet are so corrupt, autocratic, oppressive and cruel.
In other words, it is extremely wrong to conclude that Islam teaches all of those negative values just because some Muslims idiots practice that with no shame at all. Then by using the same logic, I honestly do not see how a wise person like Dato' Bahyah can make such an easy conclusion to link Christianity with vices. And mind you...I am a Muslim. However, it will be an insult to my intelligent mind granted by Allah if I blatantly agree with Dato' Bahyah's misleading opinion
It is a real tragedy that a learned person like Dato' Siti Bahyah can have that kind of thinking. Even my uneducated but religious Javanese aunties and uncles who are living in a small village who have never been given a chance to be in national TV channels (unlike this glamorous Dato Siti Bahyah) will never make a wrong conclusion that just because some Christians followers are alcoholic or practicing pre-marital sexual relationship then it simply means Christianity teaches all of those things.
As a matter of fact, I shook my head in disbelief for roughly 3 continuous minutes listening to the speech given by this Dato Siti Bahyah either at YouTube or during the TV programme. Simply can't belief it how easy a so-called "Researcher" or "Motivational Speaker" or "Cakaran Rimau-Making Love-Technique-Proponent" or whatever you call her, can reach a conclusion.
By the grace of Allah, I had the opportunity to live and mingle with the British Christian community in 1994 when I did my law degree in Sheffield, UK . Unlike other majority of Malay students who love to mingle most of the time with their Kelantanese, Johorean, Kedahan, Air Baloian, Taipingan or Batang Berjuntaian friends, I really mixed around with many Christian British friends when I lived in the UK while still practicing my daily Muslim routine religiously.
And let me humbly say with authority here that Dato' Siti Bahyah is very wrong to link free-marital sexual relationship, "clubbing" and any other hedonistic way of life with Christianity teaching.
On the other hand, there are so many real Christians that I met there on daily basis who were very decent human-beings, extremely polite, caring, very much against pre-marital sexual relationship and definitely were not practicing hedonistic way of life.
Oh...I can still remember the face of my neighbour when I was living in the UK, Father Bernard McGary, whom when we bumped into each other would never fail to greet me with : "How are you today my son? Are you alright my friend Khairul? Tell me my dear friend how can I really help you today?" If my memory serves me right, I hardly hear such a greeting from my felllow Muslim Imams or Ulamak. What about Dato' Siti Bahyah? Hmmm...My same comment can also be read under "Comments" in Malaysia Today.
This simply means although I am in Jakarta and Manisha Koirala is in Kathmandu, both of us are deemed to be committing "khalwat" if we are chatting alone, without any third person involves throughout our chatting session, regardless whether or not I use a formal language and not romantic language during the chatting, regardless whether or not while typing at my laptop keyboard here I am using my hand gloves and not caressing Manisha Koirala's beautiful silky-skin, regardless whether or not Manisha Koirala is wearing her black Triumph's Butterfly Bra throughout the chatting session.
GROUP SESSION? SHEESH! AN ORGY? NA'UZUBILLAH...!
So honestly speaking, what if, throughout the chatting session there is a third person involves. Let's say the third person is my sweet Maya Karin, a beautiful Malaysian-German actress. This means there are three of us are chatting together through internet, not just two persons. So it can't be "khalwat", can it? Then what should we call that one? Group Session khalwat? Sheesh!...An Orgy? Na'uzubulillah!
MY COMMENT ON KHALWAT VIA INTERNET
Here are my comment about Datuk Zawawi's opinion. By the way, to my non-Malaysian blog readers, I am sorry this comment is in Malay language because I originally wrote this comment to be posted under "Comments" topic at Malaysia Today in Malay language because the original news was reported in Malay language. Maybe I will translate my comment into English next week:
Adalah sangat zalim untuk menyalahkan internet sekiranya terjadi keruntuhan rumahtangga. Internet ini seperti pisau. kalau pisau itu diberi kepada Maya Karin, dia akan guna untuk memotong kek yang enak untuk saya dan dia makan bersama di tepi kolam renang, sambil saya cuba nasihat-nasihatkan dia memakai Bikini Muslim agar nggak menunjukkan bentuk tubuhnya yang indah itu.
TAPI kalau pisau yang sama diberi kepada Hang Jebat, pastinya tanpa menunggu walau 3 menit pun dia akan guna pisau yang sama itu untuk mengamuk membunuh para koruptor di Putrajaya.
Begitu juga dengan "alat kelakian" seseorang, sekiranya diguna untuk melakukan persetubuhan penuh nikmat dengan isteri yang halal, malah bisa jadi IBADAT pula karena membanyakkkan umat Rasulullah S.A.W tapi "alat" yang sama pula bisa jadi LAKNAT kalau diguna untuk berzina seperti kes Ariel dan Luna Maya.
Kesimpulannya, buruk atau baik sesuatu MEDIUM atau ALAT itu tergantung kpd KITA. Maka untuk mengatakan intenet bisa menghancurkan rumahtangga, kalau menurut saya nggak berapa betul. Semuanya tergantung kepada ORANG yang menggunakan Internet itu.
Bagi diri saya yang terpaksa "out-station" ke banyak negara karena urusan bisnis, internet adalah karunia Allah yang teramat indah sekali karena dgn internet saya bisa saja chatting hari-hari dengan isteri bagaikan pasangan "anak-muda yang sedang mabuk berpacaran" walaupun sudah 17 tahun bernikah. Dengan adanya internet juga saya bisa menatap wajah lembut dan ayu isteri saya yang mendamaikan jiwa itu HARI-HARI secara "LIVE" guna Webcam.
Nah...kalau ada rumahtangga hancur karena ada pasangan yang curang menggunakan intenet, itu bukan salah Internet "mengandung", tapi salah isteri curang itu yang rela dimengandungkan oleh lelaki durjana teman selingkuhan!My same comment can also be read under "Comments" in Malaysia Today.
Date Posted: 12 July 2009
Are KFC And McDonald Using 'Ilmu Pelaris' (Black Magic) To Increase Their Global Sales?
I believe I don't need to use a Shaman or 'Dukun' in my business venture. I believe in my own effort and then I believe in my pray or doa to Allah in everything I do. I do not believe in black magic. Have you ever heard KFC or McDonald use black magic or 'pawang' to increase their global sales, have you?What about Bill Gates? Has he ever used a Red Indian traditional black-magicians to increase his Microsoft Windows Vista sales or to kill competition from Google? The answer is a resounding "No". Even Bill Gates cannot use any black magic to contain or create a 'gate' against any virus attack in Windows system. We need Karpesky or Norton anti virus to combat it, not a Shaman like Pawang Subagio or Pawang Adiwata from Kalunggung Mountain to resolve this virus problem.
Can "Ilmu Pengasih" (Black Magic) Make George Bush And Osama Bin Ladin Intimately Having Breakfast Together?
I used to work in Jakarta in 1998. In the newspaper that I read those days there were so many advertisements promoting this super natural powers to resolve any problems, whether it is to win the heart of your girl friend ("Ilmu Pengasih"), to make your business performs better ("Ilmu Pelaris") or even to make you not being injured from any weapon ("Ilmu Kebal"). For this group of people there is no no need to read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" book written by Dale Carnegie. For them, everything can be resolved just by using the service of this Shaman or 'Dukun'
They claim their super natural ability can do everything and can do wonders. They maybe can claim that their super natural power can make George Bush and Osama Bin Ladin intimately having breakfast together at Kabul Hilton Hotel while smiling and patting each other like a romantic gay couple who has not made love for 6 long months!
If Indonesian Shaman or "Dukun" Is So Good, Why Indonesia Is Not The World Cup Champion?
For me it's simple, if the Indonesian "Dukun" (Shaman) is so powerful why on earth Indonesia has never won any World Cup football tournament. Not even once. Why? If this black magic really works well we should have at least Indonesia qualified to compete in the final round of FIFA World Cup, if not win it. The fact remains they have never qualified, let alone win the World Cup.
What about the claim that if you are a goal keeper, you can use black magic to ensure that nobody can score a goal passing through you? I heard about this claim even when I was competing in my primary school football competition. Again, if this Javanese "Dukun" or Shaman can do wonders why we have not seen any imported Indonesian goal keeper plays in English Premier League or Spanish La Liga and saved a very clear cut sure-goal kick from Fernando Torres or Christiano Ronaldo?
It was Gordon Banks, the English Goal Keeper And not "Guntur Bagong", an Indonesian Goalie That Made That Great Save!
Do you remember in Mexico 1970 World Cup when Jairzinho delivered an inviting cross from the right wing which bypassed the English centre halves? And then out of nowhere Pele, the King of Football rose majestically in the air. Everybody saw Gordon Banks seemed to be beaten as he scampered despairingly across his goal post. Although Pele's header was perfect, Banks somehow managed to tip the ball over the crossbar. That made the crowd were simply stunned by that great save.
Mind you, the name of that great goalkeeper was Gordon Banks. If the black magic from the Indonesian 'Dukun" is very powerful, why not the name of the goalkeeper say "Guntur Bagong" instead of Gordon Banks?, or Budianto, Prabowo or Joko Sembung?
Date Posted: 12 June 2009
The Moment I Told Them "My Wife Is From Kelantan", The Response Is "Oh That Tengku Fakhry Who Tortured Manohara Odelia Pinot"
The essence of the case is very simple. Manohara Odelia Pinot announced to the whole world that she was treated like a sex slave after her marriage last year to Tengku Fakhry, whose father is the Sultan of Kelantan. She escaped the prince's guards at a Singapore hotel and returned to her family in Indonesia with tales of abuse, rape and torture at the hands of the 31-year-old prince. But of course Tengku Fakhry has denied abusing his estranged teenage US-Indonesian model wife and he even threatened to launch legal action against her for making false allegations.
Who To Believe? Manohara Odelia Pinot or Tengku Fakhry?
Well..I cannot say for sure who are actually telling the truth. So I reserve my comment, at least for now. But as a Malaysian who used to work and live in Jakarta back in 1998, let me share with you my general opinion about the so-called 'socialite' like Manohara.
I am very reluctant to swallow everything narrated by Manohara, a well-known socialite in Jakarta and her mother, Daisy Lajarina who herself was on Interpol 'Red Notice' for the past one year. Mrs Fajarina was reportedly a suspect in a case of an Indonesian maid locked up in her house when she was in France last year. There are many ladies like Manohara Odelia Pinot not only in Jakarta but also in the whole world who are waiting to struck the 'lottery of their life' by being a 'princess' or consort of their respective prince charming.
Withdrawal of Support By Fellow Indonesians
I read in various newspapers including the Indonesian newspapers (via the internet), that an Indonesian NGO women activist (Ratna Sarumpaet) who previously offered her assistance to Manohara has also withdrawn her support because of the issue related to the real existence of evidence of sexual torture and abuse purportedly suffered by Manohara as a direct result from Tengku Temenggong's awkward sexual demands.
So when OC Kaligis who initially offered his legal services to Manohara later also withdrew from representing her, citing difficulty of getting cooperation to gather evidences, my initial belief in the story of Manohara sexual torture has greatly diminished.
The Doctor's Claim. Can We Just Swallow It?
What about a forensic doctor by the name of Dr Mun'im Idries who told AFP news agency that there are slash wounds on many parts of Manohara's body, especially on her chest which he claimed some are still fresh?
Well..Let me put my response this way. Even if I really want, I myself can 'make' a Sudanese doctor to announce to the world that there are many slashes and wounds all over my body as a result of endless torture by a Sudanese lady. It maybe difficult to find that kind of doctor but it is still possible to get just one doctor who can make that claim, especialy if I have a lot of money and if I can guarantee the doctor that there will be a very high possibility he will not be subjected to any vigorous verification by any third party on his claim.
My point here is how credible is this doctor who made that claim on behalf of Manohara and her mother? Will this doctor be subjected to any cross-examinations by Tengku Temenggong's lawyer in a court of law? My experience living in Jakarta shows that you can buy almost everything in Jakarta when you have 'Dollars' in your hands. With all due respect to all my Indonesian friends, it is indeed a reality in Jakarta's life. I do not mean to insult the dignity of all the Indonesians by making this general statement. Of course the majority of Indonesian people are very honest and reliable with high integrity. Thus, there surely have many more reliable doctors in Jakarta. But unless any third party doctor (not an Indonesian or a Malaysian doctor) who can validate the claim by this Dr Mun'im Idries, the claim of torture and abuse remains just a claim.
In a way, OC Kalingis and Ratna Sarumpaet's withdrawal of support shows that not all Indonesians are emotional and blindly supported their fellow citizens without solid evidence.
Do You Know What Substance You Injected Your Wife?
Having said that, I do not in any way try to say that Tengku Temenggong absolutely did not commit this heinous act of barbarism. Maybe he did. Who knows. Maybe he really cut Manohara's chest with a razor as claimed by Manohara. Maybe it is true that he injected Manohara with 'unidentified substance' before having sexual intercourse with her, also as claimed by Manohara. I do not mean to talk dirty here, but to all the Indonesians ladies I would like to say that we, the Malaysian men will definitely know fully well what kind of substance that we injected our wives during making love. For us, (normal Malaysian men) there is no such thing as 'unidentified substance'. Not like in your Manohara's case.
It's All About The Art of Making Love
If you really study very carefully all the news related to Manohara's saga, it seems that all her accusations against her husband, the Tengku Temenggong related to his treatments towards her during their private time as a husband and wife. In other words, most of the accusations related to the way they make love. Isn't it disgusting?
If it is proven true that Tengku Temenggong engaged in such an inhumane act, this kind of behaviour is definitely not condoned by any average Malaysian men who are generally very romantic and loving.
Human, Not Cats and Dogs, Has Become More Daring In The Art of Making Love
But nowadays we never know. Human has become very complicated in fulfilling their sexual desire. Even the famous David Cardine, the star of 1970s TV series "Kung Fu" found hanging in a Bangkok hotel room last week. The Thai police have said they suspect Carradine died from a sex act that went wrong after his body was discovered on June 4 hanging from a wardrobe rail in a Bangkok hotel room, naked and with ropes attached to his neck and penis. You see! human are becoming very daring and strange.
I do not think animals dare to do this kind of act. I solemnly believe cats and dogs maintaining their very same way same when comes to making love, right from the Gengis Khan time until the present day. They never practice any sadism in their sexual intercourse. But please do not make any assumption that I know about this 'cats and dogs' thing because I keep on observing how these cats and dogs making love!
Leave Bigfoot Alone!
That's why in certain aspects, animals are sometimes better than certain group of human being. Those who know me surely can recall three years ago I strongly objected to the mission of so-called 'Bigfoot researchers' to capture Bigfoot that was said still roaming our Endau-Rompin jungle.
For me, leave that Mr Bigfoot alone. If they really exist, they have done nothing wrong to us, the human being.
Anyhow, have you ever read in any newspaper about any news regarding any Bigfoot was captured for raping Malaysian lady at Jalan Haji Taib? Have you ever watched any news in our television regarding any Bigfoot as a snatch-thief, riding on a motorcycle on broad daylight in Malaysia, snatching lady's handbag? No! Only human-being did that. With that I rest my case.
That's all for today. Thank you for your time reading my blog. Till we meet again next week with my Jakarta story and many more photos! Permisi dulu Bapak-Bapak dan Ibu-Ibu. Have a fantastic and bombastic day! Khoda hafiz, Wassalam..
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